No matter how talented or driven you are, starting a business it is hard, taxing work. In 2021, I left my 21-year career in finance and became a success coach, leadership consultant, and author. I had heard the statistics that 90% of all small businesses fail, but I thought starting my own business would be somehow miraculously easy – it wasn't. Here are four things I've learned since then.

1. Self-discipline is harder than you think

Owning a business means you are the boss. There are no assignments to submit and no deadlines to meet. No one writes a performance review for you. However, this can be very difficult for some – and I had to learn this unexpected lesson the hard way.

I have always been very organized and structured. For the last decade of my professional career, everything I did was planned and calendared in advance. Things were different when I hit it myself. Conferences and meetings were not on a regular basis and this caused huge gaps in my calendar. At first it was hard to get into a rhythm. I began to notice that I was not using my time well. I was sleeping inside. If I said I would check email for 10 minutes, it often turned into an hour. I realized that I was allowing myself to be distracted throughout the day because my day wasn't full of the same hard stops that had existed before.

I BEGAN setting a schedule for myself. The only way I could write two books in my first two years was by setting aside time to write. At the beginning of each week, I write down the week's most important priorities and set goals for myself. I list what actions I will need to take to achieve those goals. I schedule them on my calendar. Then, I stick to it. This takes willpower, but if you don't, you'll find yourself wasting time.

What gets measured gets done, so I also set goals and KPIs for myself. It's easy to lose motivation when you're not rated on the scoreboard – so I created my own. I set goals for how many hours, pages, or words I will write each week. I set goals for how many people I would answer and how many potential calls I would make. When my books hit the market, I tracked sales, revenue, and income. On social media platforms, I set some KPIs for my engagement rates. Understanding which metrics to look at is critical to success.

Connected: 10 things I've learned in 10 years of running my own business

2. Choose the right customers and partners

Not everyone will be a good fit for your services and products, and you won't be a good fit for everyone's needs. One mistake I made in my first year was to take on anyone who would have me as a client or partner. I have since parted ways with my business coach, two salespeople and two clients. People who drain your energy or waste your time with nonsense should not be on your calendar.

In my case “excluded” customers., they resisted all my suggestions and were reluctant to take my advice. I finally realized that neither of us was getting much out of the relationship. It feels good to keep space on my calendar just for those who are aligned in their thinking and want to achieve great things. At first, because I was just starting out, I was afraid to leave my income. If someone was willing to pay me, I was willing to take their money. It's not like that anymore. Big businesses only work with big clients.

When it comes to vendors, I now shop around. First, I hired the first trainer, website designer, and publishing team I could find. Some of those decisions were mistakes. I have since decided to expand my research process when looking for the right vendor. I do my homework and ask for referrals. In other cases, I like to see examples of previous work. When sellers can't produce it (or seem annoyed that I'm even asking), I know I'm not dealing with the right partner.

3. It can get lonely at times; find ways to add human interaction to your day

Before I went solo, I was always part of a team. Over the course of most of my career, I have interacted with several hundred people at work. Everything changed when I became a personal trainer and consultant – suddenly, it was just me. When you are an employee, you are often constantly involved in conversations with others. When I went freelance, there were several hours a day that I wasn't. Immediately, I felt a strong shock loneliness. I didn't have an endless supply of people to share ideas with.

Now I make a point to schedule lunch with clients, potential clients, or colleagues several times a week. I've also found great joy in sharing with my network videos of what I call “Transformation Tuesdays” and engaging regularly on several social media platforms with like-minded people. When I share videos and articles on leadership or mindset, it gets me into conversations with others about things that are important to me. It helps me overcome these lonely feelings. If your work is mostly done alone and you feel a little lonely, find ways to do this connect with others regularly.

Connected: I started my business in my mother's basement at the age of 17. Here are 5 rules I wish I knew but had to learn the hard way

4. Building a network of your peers is essential

At first I was hesitant to meet other authors and coaches. To some extent, I saw them as ComPeTITIon. I have since had a complete change of heart. Last year I met another trainer who does exactly what I do. When we met, we had both published our first books. Since then, we've written forewords for each other's second books! It has been an honor and a joy to support each other like this. For my third book, I want to work with a publisher. I recently joined a group of authors, agents and publishers and went to one of their events. I couldn't believe the camaraderie and value I found there. I met other authors who are facing (but overcoming) the same challenges I face. I also met a plethora of agents and publishers who could help me. There is strength in numbers. Together we are stronger. Networking with others who are doing exactly what you are doing (and doing it well) can only help you, not hinder you.

I wish I had known these four things on my first day as an entrepreneur, but I'm also thankful I know them now. Implementing them will only make you and your business stronger; I guarantee it.