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There is a certain grandeur in the idea of loneliness. Imagine Henry David Thoreau, gazing out over the blue-green expanse of Walden Pond. In our minds, Thoreau is at peace. He stares into the distance, thinking big and important ideas. From time to time, he will write down these important ideas in a leather-bound notebook.
The Thoreau of our imagination does not struggle with intrusive thoughts. He doesn't slap flies nervously and wonder why he's out here. He's not caught chopping wood in a sudden downpour, cursing himself for thinking he could do that, and that maybe he should just pack it up and head back to Concord.
Thoreau was famous for his appreciation of solitude – it was at Walden Pond that he produced his most famous work. But we also know that even for the most confident lone wolves, loneliness can be difficult — especially when internal monologue is included.
As a single and proud founder introvert, I am all too familiar with the rewards and challenges of working alone. Here are some ways to make it work for you too.
The advantages of going it alone
Startup culture prioritizes collaboration, but there are big benefits going alone. Not only do you not have to worry about compromising your vision or stepping on toes, but you also have the freedom to make the choices you want and follow your instincts.
These instincts are an essential aspect of success as an entrepreneur. As much as data and facts matter, there is untold power in following your gut. A study found that when people make choices based on instinct alone, they make the right call up to 90% of the time. Former CEO of General Electric, Jack Welch, famous for his ability to make decisions based on instinct, explained this.
“Sometimes making a decision is difficult, not because it's unpopular, but because it comes from your gut and defies technical reasoning,” he once said.
“Much has been written about the mystery of the gut, but it's really just pattern recognition, right? You've seen something so many times that you just know what's going on this time. The facts may be incomplete or the data limited, but the situation looks very, very familiar to you.”
But intuition it can be difficult to explain to others, especially a skeptical co-founder who may have their own ideas. That's not to say you should never ask for input from others—it can be extremely helpful to have one mentor or peer network for times when you could use advice or a gut check. Still, when push comes to shove and you know deep down which fork in the road to take, it's liberating to do it without having to explain yourself to someone else.
Connected: 10 benefits for entrepreneurs who find time for silence and solitude
Dealing with intrusive thoughts
Working alone means being able to trust yourself. It can be difficult when intrusive thoughts begin to creep, as they inevitably do.
Your inner dialogue can be your greatest asset—or a terrible, destructive enemy. The first step to ensuring your mind is working for you, not against you, is to understand your default mindset. When you hit an obstacle, what is your reaction? Do you wallow in loss? Spiral in a panic? Turn off? Or do you see the obstacle at hand as a challenge and approach it with a sense of curiosity?
If your answer is the first, it means you should reframe your mindset. Doing this will take some work. But in the same way we go to the gym to build muscle, we can train our brains to resist negativity and intrusive thoughts.
Practicing OUTREACH it's a surefire way to become aware of your self-talk and reframe it more productively. Start paying attention—as nonjudgmentally as possible—to your thoughts, feelings, and reactions throughout the day. As humans, we often confuse the things we think and feel with who we are. But it's important to remember that some of these thoughts are just not true. Being aware of limiting beliefs means you can start to accept them for what they are – stories we've made up, often not based in fact.
When you find yourself surrounded by negative thoughts, try making a list of topics that you actually weakto think – a problem you are trying to solve or a recent victory. This is called “intentional thinking,” and it's a great use of your alone time, says Ethan Kross, a University of Michigan professor and author of Chatter: The Voice in Our Heads, Why It Matters and How to Harness It, shows Vox. Deliberate thinking doesn't have to be a huge time commitment, either—Kross prefers to combine his with other activities already in his schedule, like exercise.
“I'll just turn on whatever the issue is that I want to solve, and then I'll get on the treadmill, and inevitably, my mind starts working, coming up with all kinds of solutions. I have a lot of knowledge in this way.” he says.
Connected: How to escape from the prison of negative thinking
Finding solitude in an overconnected world
In some ways, it might seem like Thoreau had it easier than your modern-day solopreneur. He was in the middle of nature, and most importantly, he didn't have a smartphone constantly chirping with notifications, beckoning him to abandon his thoughts and get distracted scrolling through his social feeds.
Surrendering to the temptation of the digital dopamine rush it's easy, but resisting is where you'll find the rewards of alone time. Close the door and put your phone on do not disturb for a period of time each day and you might be surprised by the creativity and innovation that thrives in that space.
Personally, I build solo time into my schedule, setting aside a certain amount each day to clear my mind and engage in deep work. These quiet moments come from my founding days of Jotform 18 years ago. While I wasn't faced with the same buzz of gadgets that we regularly love these days, I was spending a lot of time alone – more than ever. I admit, it can be a struggle. Lacking distractions, my brain filled the silence by assaulting me with “what ifs.”
But I refused to give up. And guess what? The times when I got past the embarrassment were where my best thoughts took root. Today, Jotform has over 25 million users, and I attribute a large part of our success to those precious moments of emptiness, where, without distraction, I could just be.
Being alone—really alone, without the company of digital distractions—can be difficult. It's much easier to pick up the phone and engage in a mindless movement than it is to learn to work with your inner monologue. But once you harness that voice in your head and train it to work with you instead of against you, there's no end to what you can achieve.