It's no secret that working mothers still face discrimination in the workplace. With few legal protections in place, many mothers are pushed out of the workplace (laid off or laid off) and subjected to stereotypes about their competence. I have faced discrimination as a working mother several times since 1997. I have been passed over for a promotion and left a leadership role because of the discrimination I faced.

From the moment I saw that little blue plus sign, I fought for it parity at work and at home. Lack of paid leave, exorbitant childcare costs, and discrimination made my early career difficult at best, and for most Americans, it makes raising a family nearly impossible.

I was only 24 when I became a mother for the first time. I was new to many things then: adulthood, marriage, and home ownership. I had no idea the stats were so stacked against me. Gender inequality it didn't occur to me – that's how it was. Little did I know that I was entering a whole new world – one that would constantly devalue me.

As it turns out, new mothers who receive less than eight weeks of paid maternity leave vacationers are at higher risk for depression and experience poorer overall health. My husband and I were a young couple starting out, so while I desperately wanted more time with my newborn, my mind reasoned that the six weeks of paid maternity leave my employer offered would be enough—I couldn't. we afforded extra time away from work without pay. We were not alone. Two thirds of the workers don't get the necessary permission because they can't afford it. They are also unable to afford day care. For babies, average cost of child care at the center it's more than in-state public college tuition in 34 states.

On the first day back from maternity leave, I learned that the new hire a few months ago had been promoted above me. When I asked my boss why I was passed over for promotion, she said she didn't agree with it, but it was out of her hands. According to one Pew Research Center analysis16% of working parents have been passed over for a promotion because they have children, and mothers are more likely than fathers to report this experience.

My company's office hours were 8:30 am to 5:30 pm. I had to be out the door at exactly 5:30pm every day to pick up my son by 6pm or pay $1 for every minute I was late. Still, I was pulled aside and always talked to leave when other employees were late, as if it spoke to a lack of work ethic or a desire to succeed on my part. I wasn't alone. Mothers are 40% more likely than fathers reporting that childcare issues hurt their careers.

There are so many lessons I learned during those early years. Looking back now, it's easy to see where the bias was and what changes were needed to create equality. My only solution was to take matters into my own hands. Here are six tips for dating and navigating Distress to build a thriving career.

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Tip 1: Change starts at home

If you carried a child for nine months and gave birth, you have done 100% of it parenting work so far; don't let your partner assume that you will continue to do so.

Like most babies, ours didn't sleep through the night for many months. So, I went to work every day exhausted. One day, a few weeks after returning from maternity leave, I fell asleep at my desk. The owner of the company walked by, saw me and sent me home. When I told my husband about this and asked him for help, he replied: “I can't, I have a job.” Not only was I devalued at work, but I was also devalued at home by the one person who mattered most.

When a couple decides who will take more time off after the birth of a child, it makes financial sense for the one who makes less money to take more time off. This means maternity leave it usually falls to mothers because women earn less than men. If companies paid men and women equally, this conversation would be eliminated as part of the decision and it would make more financial sense for each partner to take equal time off work. This, in turn, would change the perception at home.

Tip 2: Take matters into your own hands

When my son was about eight months old, my husband and I decided to move closer to family. When we found our new home, I started looking for childcare. Day care centers were prohibitively expensive, so I interviewed several mothers who provided day care in their homes. I left every meeting deflated.

I could not find reliable care for my son, and I continued to be neglected and undervalued at work. That's when I decided to join 43% of women who leave the workforce after having children. I quit my job and started my own daycare at home. I used my marketing background to get the word out, and within two weeks, I was caring for three toddlers and a full-time baby with an expecting couple on the waiting list. I spent the next six years taking care of the little ones and raising my own.

Tip 3: Think long term, act short term

By 2005, I had earned my writing degree and was working as a copywriter. Two years later, in the middle of a recession, my husband and I separated. With two school-aged sons and a two-year-old daughter at home, I was forced to return to work full-time.

Finding work in a recession is hard enough, but having a nine-year stretch on my resume didn't help. It was virtually impossible to get an interview, much less be offered a job that paid enough to afford childcare. Surprisingly, women who only took a year off from work earn 39% less than women who have not done it. Desperate for a full-time job with health benefits, I took an account manager position. The salary was not enough to cover the costs of the daycare, so I kept my clients independent. I would work all day, and then after tucking my kids in at night, I would dive into my freelance writing projects. It wasn't something I wanted to do forever, but short term, it paid the bills and long term, it would set me up to start my own business.

Tip 4: Look for opportunities

In 2011, the recession hit marketing industry, and companies ditched their ad agencies in favor of working with freelancers to ease budgets. My number of freelance clients doubled, while at the same time, our agency client list was cut in half. This allowed me to negotiate to work on my freelance projects during business hours in exchange for a percentage of my freelance income. I was able to take on more clients without giving up all my evening hours so I could still be a present parent to my kids and get enough sleep at night to get me through the day ahead.

In 2013, my freelance business was booming and on August 1st, 2013, I quit my job to work for myself full time. That decision changed my life and our home. It is not surprising that a nanny 75% of self-employed women they love their job. Working for myself allowed me to adjust my priorities and schedule my work hours around my family, not the other way around. I worked late into the night, but also took hours off for after-school trips to the park, family dinners, and homework time.

Tip 5: Be open

In 2015, I was offered the role of director of content marketing for a freelance client. While I loved the flexibility of working for myself, it was an incredible opportunity to build and manage a content writing department from the ground up. I accepted the role and learned everything I could. A year later, the travel and late nights became too much and I needed to be more available for my children. I gave my notice and negotiated a 12-month freelance writing contract in exchange for hiring my replacement. Within a few months I opened a marketing agency.

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Tip 6: Remember that actions speak louder than words

In 2021, my previous employer offered me another role. This time, it was one C-suite position and a stake in the business for bringing my agency into his company as the social media arm of the business. I said yes, knowing that, at the very least, I would learn something and at best, grow the agency much faster than I could on my own. While I enjoyed steady income and benefits, I was drowning in work, and try as I might, I couldn't change the culture. I started looking for support through networking groups and was invited to join chief, a powerful network of women leaders. This was an incredible opportunity to learn from other female executives, network with peers and meet potential clients; all the things my male peers were leery of. I outlined the benefits and asked my company to sponsor the membership. They refused.

Deciding it was worth the investment, I paid the fee myself. When I published a LinkedIn post announcing my membership, the CEO expressed disappointment that I hadn't mentioned his company in my post. That's when I decided I could no longer work with or for companies that refused to invest equally in male and female leaders. In June 2022, I gave my notice and withdrew my agency from the merger.

On Mother's Day, we celebrate mothers—and companies do, too. It's no secret that brands are increasingly jumping on the social cause bandwagon, but CUSTOMERS don't be fooled by many who pay lip service. They want to see real change.

Want to celebrate moms? Offer paid maternity, paternity and family leave so working parents can take the time they need to give their children and families a healthy start. Normalize paternity leave so that fathers are equally responsible and able to bond with their children.

More than 120 countries, including most industrialized countries, offer paid maternity leave and health benefits by law, according to a Report of the International Labor Office (ILO).. The failure of the United States to do so leaves 80% of the workforce without any paid leave after the birth of a child. Almost half nor are they guaranteed unpaid, job-protected leave through the Family and Medical Leave Law.

The answer is not to leave the workforce. The answer is for the government to join almost every other nation in offering paid family leave. Until then, taking matters into our own hands is the only answer.

Maya Angelou said, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” The same applies to companies. Work-life balance issues cause conflict for a surprising 72% of women. Don't waste your time and talent with a company that doesn't support you.