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At 28, I found myself married and expecting a child while founding and CEO of a fast-growing early-stage technology company. To say that my situation raised a few eyebrows (and was met with a considerable amount of skepticism) would be an understatement.
Day after day, I was saying things to them it just didn't make sense: “You're too young to be a CEO,” “You're too young to have a baby…” then suddenly, with the flip of a switch, one day the advice you get changes to “you too old to have a family”, “you were selfish to wait”. For some reason, we've decided that parenting and entrepreneurship don't go hand in hand—not for women, anyway.
I'm certainly not the first person (and I won't be the last) to present the choice between pursuing your larger professional goals and your ultimate lifelong dream of becoming a mother. So here's the thing: two years later, I can say this: both ARE possible.
I want to take a step back and fully realize how lucky I was to have some resources and support that not everyone does to help me. only 51% of women take five or more weeks off for maternity leave; worse, 62% of women with the lowest incomes do not take any maternity leave. A truly unacceptable result. We have to be better.
Before I sat down to write about my experience, I spoke to countless parents who covered a wide range of experiences. Ultimately, these were the things that were necessary: 1) there was a consensus that taking more time off would result in a performance penalty, 2) they felt like taking time off hurt their chances of promotion, and 3 ) some parents I spoke to couldn't' It doesn't take much time at all due to financial circumstances.
For people who feel like they are in a similar position to me, know that even though it will be hard, you can and will get through it. And maybe, using the platform I've been given, the conversation can get louder and maybe it won't be as difficult for those who follow. Maybe we'll even become a little more accommodating.
So let's talk about reality pregnant and entrepreneurship—the parts no one likes to discuss.
I've been told more times than I can count that investors wouldn't want to back a pregnant CEO, that pregnancy was a barrier to VC funding, that parenthood was why investors feared female-led companies, and that taking maternity leave would signal a lack of commitment to the company.
Advice was given: don't tell them you're expecting and don't make appointments in person. Regardless, we move forward amidst the impending chaos parenting and business growth. We started discussions with potential investors when I was about seven months pregnant and officially closed the Series A just days after I gave birth. Yes, you read that right – texting investors on the job is not for the faint of heart.
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The days and weeks that followed, the struggles of changing diapers, navigating breastfeeding and, if that weren't enough, a broken tailbone from childbirth, all while running a company—these are the untold stories that leave women feel isolated and unsupported. It's time to dismantle the stigma and normalize conversations about the challenges of pregnancy and motherhood in the workplace.
As for my path, I didn't take maternity leave until my little one was about 12 months old – I'm very grateful for the opportunity to do so. But by then, I was exhausted and didn't feel like I was doing either role well. Ultimately, my three month maternity leave was the best decision for me, my family and my business.
Not everyone is in the same position as me or will be as lucky as I was to take the delayed leave that I did, but for those who may be struggling with work-life balance or the challenges of being a new parent, here's what I've learned.
For those who think they don't need a break, or that their careers can't handle a break, let me be clear: that perspective needs a change. You are not only entitled to this time; you need it. And it's not just about physical recovery – it's about mental and emotional health, bonding with your baby and adjusting to the monumental task of parenting. This is not just for birth mothers. Mothers, fathers, foster parents, we all need this time. Why?
- Your child comes first. Forget about work for a moment. Bonding with your child is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that nothing, absolutely nothing, should overshadow.
- Parenting is the hardest job in the world. No corporate challenge compares to the first days of parenthood. Taking time off helps you adjust to this new phase of life, something I wish I had more of before going back to work.
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And some advice I have for those navigating this journey:
- It's okay to put yourself first. One of the best pieces of advice I can give: it's okay to be 'selfish'. This is the only time you can say no, ask for help and set boundaries – for all intents and purposes, in the world MUST feel like it's revolving around you.
- Don't be afraid to communicate openly with your team and customers. It's easy to be afraid and be honest about what you're going through. My advice: Be open and honest, and more often than not, you'll be surprised by the support you get.
- Plan and delegate. Before leaving, set it up clear expectations and delegate responsibilities. Empower your team so the business runs smoothly in your absence, minimizing stress for everyone involved.
It's time to break the silence about parenting and entrepreneurship. Let's embrace the complexity of our lives, challenge societal norms, and pave the way for a more inclusive and supportive future.