Decades ago, I went to an open session at a BNI conference called “The Mathematical Formula for Networking Success.” Well, as the founder of the organization, I needed to see this presentation to learn the working formula for success business networking.

The speaker began his presentation by writing a formula on the board. He spoke of “D” representing Dunbar's average number of relationships and “M” representing Metcalf's Law (also known as the Squared Link Effect). He went on to a very complicated and confusing formula of taking the square root of something and multiplying it by something that seemed completely irrelevant to me.

He hesitated as he spoke to us. He put his fingertips to his lips and circled and bowed in his presentation. It was unpleasant for all of us that he was confused and confused by his formula. Not only that, but we were also very confused and perplexed by his formula. We all sat there feeling quite embarrassed for him.

At that point he turned to the hundreds of people in the room, took a big red felt-tip marker and put a giant red “X” all over the formula and told us all, “Oh forget math – it's all about RELATIONS!”

The whole room burst into laughter simultaneously. He was right. Business networking (when done right) is all about the relationships you build.

He went on to explain that there is no mathematical formula for success in business networking. It's all about cultivating professional relationships—and while there may not be a mathematical formula, there are a few principles that, when applied correctly, add up to great networking results.

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1. Make sure others know, like and trust you

“Know, like and FAITH” — this is the process that business people need to follow to feel comfortable referring other people. I refer to this as the VCP process. First you need to get Visibility in the community by going to networking events. More then build Credibility by building a solid reputation for doing good work. After that, relationships can lead to Profit through referrals. Don't just go to networking events to make face-to-face cold calls. Go to them to work on your way through the VCP process.

2. Maintain consistent communication

Building and maintaining relationships it requires what I like to call “touch points”. How often are you contacting and connecting with people in your network? Checking in regularly, sharing updates, and expressing genuine interest in what other people are doing helps keep connections alive. Benign neglect or letting relationships dissipate over time dramatically weakens your network.

Doing regular 1-2-1s with people, either in person or online, can help keep the relationship alive. Actually, one university study conducted by Beatrice Sparacino in Europe found that people who do four or more 1-2-1s a month give and receive twice as many referrals as people who do only one 1-2-1 a month. Whether through face-to-face interactions, email or social media, keeping the lines of communication open strengthens the bond between you and your network. Consistent communication ensures that bonds remain strong, even in the absence of immediate opportunities, and allows for a more natural relationship progression over time.

3. Increase the description of what you do

The description of what you do definitely depends on your audience. Delivering a line at a chamber event is fundamentally different than giving a weekly 60-second presentation to a group like BNI. For example, if you are making a sentence about what you do to a large group – use a mnemonic. One of the first I heard was from a dentist who raised his right hand and said, “I believe in the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.” With just a dozen words, he made sure everyone in that room remembered who he was and what he did.

On the other hand, if you're in a networking group where you have a little more time to talk and you do it every week, you have to do something that's pretty counterintuitive. That is, do not take a broad brush and explain your business in general terms. Instead, get laser specific about one aspect of your business. Then the next week another aspect, and so on. After a year, you have taught the people you connect with many ways to refer you. In groups like this, the goal isn't to make a sale—it's to train a salesperson to find one REFERRALS for you.

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4. Create value with your existing and potential referral partners

Successful networking is not just about what one can get; it is also about what one can give or contribute. Creating value for others creates a sense of belonging reciprocal relationship. This can include sharing knowledge, offering help, connecting individuals with relevant resources and of course, giving someone a valuable referral for their business. By contributing to the success of others, individuals strengthen ties within their network and become valuable assets themselves.

I was doing a radio interview recently and talked to the leader about creating value by asking people you want to develop a professional relationship with this question: “How can I help you?” He said (live, on air) “That tired old phrase – it doesn't work!” I didn't want to argue with him on air so I moved on. When the interview was over, I asked him who some of the people he was looking to get on the show were. He gave me some names. I knew one of them very well. I told him he was a good friend of mine and I would be happy to make an introduction. The host thanked me profusely for my offer. That's when I told him that's how you can ask, “How can I help you?” without using those real words. He said, “Tuché!” and admitted that it might work out well after all.

5. Building a diverse network is vital

Networks are, by nature, chaotic—that's not the technical term, but they really tend to be cluster-like, unless we try to create a wide and comprehensive network. People tend to spend time with people who are a lot like them. However, building relationships with individuals from different backgrounds, industries, ethnicities, ages, educations and experiences helps to broaden our perspectives and provide us with access to a wider range of opportunities (which I discuss at length in my book The Third Paradigm). These individuals become connectors that connect you to other groups of people that you might not normally meet. Embracing diversity in networks not only increases the richness of our relationships, but also opens the door to a wealth of opportunities for personal and professional growth.

The journey to success in business networking is not limited by mathematical formulas, but instead thrives on genuine relationships. The laughter that resulted from the mathematical formula resonated with the common understanding that human connections defy quantification through equations. The key message emerged: Success in networking depends on meaningful interactions, not complex mathematical calculations.

If your network is a mile wide and an inch deep, it will never be successful. It must be wide and, in some places, deep. It means that no matter how many people are in your network or how well connected you are – the key is to have deep relationships with people who will be there to help, support and refer you over time. This underscores the importance of breadth and depth in one's connections. Simply casting a wide net is not enough; cultivating deep relationships ensures ongoing support and referrals. Basically, the true formula for networking success lies in the art of building and nurturing authentic connections with others.

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