I hate empty words in general, but I especially hate empty words when they are applied to mental illness. It's so condescending when people offer some simple advice and say it will fix everything. It's obnoxiously religious when people tell you that you're looking at things or doing things the wrong way, because they know a rhyming couplet. Not only are empty words generally unhelpful, I would suggest that they are even less so for people with mental illness (especially serious mental illness such as bipolar disorder). This is why people need to stop offering bullshit to those with mental illness (and maybe everyone else).

The Latest Lies Targeting My Mental Illness

Someone sent me this very useful lie on social media the other day:

“Perhaps you were given this mountain to show others that it can be moved.”

“I doubt it,” I replied. (I'm not really that special.)

The person replied:

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure. Keep believing, keep striving, and let your actions prove your doubts wrong.”

My mental illness was hit with a double whammy. Happy me.

Why People Commit to Mental Illness Delusions

When people come up with empty words for mental illness, I think there are many factors involved.

• People think empty words are useful. If a new age guru said it (or it was in a fortune cookie), it must be true and beneficial.
• People assume that if bullshit was good for them, it will be good for you.
• People think it makes them look smart. A person might think that being able to pull their quoted nonsense out of thin air makes them look smart and feel good about being able to offer such “wisdom”.
• People don't know what to say on such a serious topic, so they take someone else's words for granted.

No malice is intended in the above cases. People are misinformed about what mental illness is and how it doesn't compare to normal life struggles eliminatesa life-threatening, lifelong illness.

I believe that the person who said these things to me on social media had the best intentions. I think he thought he was helping. I don't think he was trying to be condescending or pious. The point is that it appeared like this.

Problems with Platitudes for Mental Illness

Honestly, I'm not sure who the lies help, but I know they don't help people with mental illnesses.

First of all, I don't buy fortune cookie wisdom, and I especially don't buy fortune cookie wisdom that ignores mental illness. Because when someone says something common: “You can do whatever you want; you just have to try,” they say without remotely considering the disabled.

I would argue that this is not true for anyone, we all have limiting factors but ourselves those with disabilities has very noticeable limiting factors.

For example, I worked 40+ hours a week at an office job. It was a good job for a big company. I made good money and got great benefits. But, I can't do that anymore. I am now too disabled to work eight hours a day (or more) five days a week. I literally can't. It is impossible. I am very sick. It doesn't matter how old I am I want he; i can't do he

And this is one of the most common and accepted lies. Of course, more outlandish bullshit gets worse.

Moreover, empty words are meant to tell you how to think and act. It tells you that the way you think and act right now is wrong, and this simple naivete for mental illness will fix it; will fix you.

It denies one's experience and journey. It invalidates where they are today – which counts more than anything you'll find in a fortune cookie. There's a reason people think that. There's a reason why people act the way they do. Usually they think and act the way they think because it's the best thing for them, taking into account many complex factors. Were they able to improve? Probably. We all can. But they won't improve with a fortune cookie. They just aren't.

People with mental illness deserve better than empty words. We just do.

Don't Offer Phrases for Mental Illness – Do This Instead

I think there may be a kernel of wisdom in some of the quotes and platitudes. No need to gloss over it and throw the baby out with the incredibly annoying bathwater.

Instead of just rambling, how about saying something like, “I like that quote. It helped me. It means that to me. . .”

Then, you can start a conversation about why you think something is useful. This is the impressive part. The impressive part is how a particular flattery helped you and why you think it might help someone else. This open dialogue allows the person with mental illness to say why it may or may not be relevant or helpful to them.

Or, for God's sake, just speak in your own words from a personal perspective. Your ideas don't need to be short or concise to be important.

And finally, be prepared to reject your ideas. Check it out if you haven't already serious mental illness, you hardly understand our difficulties. Just accept that our lives are different from yours. Just accept that whoever is talking to you may not be talking to us. Just accept that empty words are probably not helpful to those with mental illness. And that's good.

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