Here's something I've always believed: the better you know your team members, the easier it is to give them the support and freedom they need to be successful in their work.

At my last company, all of my direct reports had been with me for at least eight years. We spent an important part of our lives together. My team members lost family members, had legal problems and fertility problems, got married, moved and divorced and I saw it all. I also saw how all these things affected their performance in the office – some were temporary changes, while others were permanent.

Those experiences also shaped how I currently run FutureFund free fundraising platform for the K-12 school groups I founded. Here is my advice building strong working relationships to set up your organization for better teamwork and more success.

You have to know where people are coming from

Some managers don't want to know about their team's personal lives or experiences, but I think that's a mistake. The right question question and getting people to open up not only builds trust; it also helps you understand what they're working with — and what they need to work more effectively.

Here's an example: I had a first-time manager who was recently promoted, but soon after, his performance began to decline.

There are two ways to deal with this kind of thing when it happens. The first is to give an ultimatum. You tell the person that their performance needs to improve or that they need to leave.

The second is to ask them if everything is okay. So I did and he told me his cancer had returned. He was a veteran and had been exposed to some bad things in Iraq, causing him health problems. Suddenly, the fact that his performance was slipping was no longer the problem. Our priority became getting him the support he needed – and by being able to help him, we were able to help the business.

10 years later, this employee was still with us and his work was still great. But I would never have been able to figure this out if I had taken a different approach.

To really get to know someone is to ask the right questions and listening carefully to the answers. And it's never too early to start—in fact, you can (and should) start doing this from the moment you sit down to interview a candidate.

Related: I've interviewed over 2,000 candidates – here are the 2 questions I asked the top recruiters

It's not about micromanaging

Knowing your people is not the same as keeping tabs on them. Breathe down a person's neck and they will come to anger you. But show them you care and you will empower them. It's a simple but important change.

Mentoring plays a critical role in this process. I've written extensively about the role of mentors in business, but the key is to see yourself as a coach – someone who is actively involved in your team's success.

Adopting this perspective keeps your feedback constructive rather than punitive and assures your direct reports that you have their best interests at heart. However, it also requires some vulnerability from your side.

Related: Be a coach, not a referee – How to be a good mentor and manager from a coaching perspective

Vulnerability inspires trust and transparency

One aspect of effective mentoring is establishing yourself as someone people trust. Not only do you need to be willing to learn about their lives, but you may also need to be comfortable opening up about your own.

One thing we do as an executive team when we get together is share a personal story. It usually involves family and often involves a personal struggle. It may even result in tears.

It is not structured or forced. We just go around, and everyone has the opportunity to share as much or as little as they want. It's the single best activity I've ever done to feel close to the people I work with.

Everyone is showing one degree of vulnerability sharing something private and that takes a lot of courage. It also creates a level of understanding, respect and camaraderie that I have never seen in any other activity we have done.

Strong working relationships have immeasurable benefits

When you take time for real get to know your team – and let them know you in turn – incredible things can happen. Many of these have value that is easy to quantify: a better understanding of each individual's capacity, opportunities for more focused mentoring and coaching, and a sense of the risks people are comfortable taking.

Related: Why let people fail now so they can succeed later

But there are benefits you can't measure as well, like loyalty and trust. People don't just give you these things when you tick enough boxes as an employer. They need to feel like you mean something to them.

Ask the right questions, listen to the answers, and don't be afraid to open up and share about your life, too. It might put you out of your comfort zone at first—but as any successful leader will tell you, that's where growth happens.