When you think of Entrepreneurship, many things come to mind. Among them, I am sure, are those big American success stories – Bezos, Jobs, Musk.

Whenever I ask my clients what brand they admire most, they usually choose Apple, Tesla or Amazon. These are all hugely successful brands, but they also have highly revered figures – leaders who defied the odds, with boots and built massive brands from the group up. That's what we, as entrepreneurs, are all aiming to achieve, right? Our faces on the cover of magazines, millions of dollars in the bank account – that's success, right?

I heard a fascinating figure during a sermon the other day that stopped me in my tracks. Teachers are ranked the #3 occupation for American millionaires. To me, this made no sense; they are right up there with engineers and doctors – but at significantly lower salaries. How can this be possible? Research shows that this is because they are better at building wealth slowly and steadily. They are better savers and spenders. It doesn't sound sexy, but their net worth ranks alongside our highest earners in the US.

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That same sermon touched on an idea that has stuck with me ever since. We idolize weirdos. Why? Much of it is embedded in our American culture. We build a country built on rebellion and if you look at our idols – none of them 'conform' to societal norms. Marlboro Man, Motley Crue, Michael Jordan, Taylor Swift, James Dean, Jay-Z – they defied our norms. They did things their way and it worked. We as a culture love it.

Every one of the amazing people mentioned above is the exception – lightning in a bottle. Their stories are iconic, fun and exciting – told over and over to 'look what they're capable of'. But what about the rest of us?

External affairs give us hope. They let us dream and aspire. But when we look up, we are not looking around; we have blinders on. And that's what I want to talk about today.

Success is like that arbitrary concept. It looks different for everyone. I meant the cover of Forbes it was my definition of success – and while that would still be awesome, I no longer feel like I need the validation of a magazine cover to feel accomplished.

For me, there are 3 questions I asked myself that really helped redefine what I wanted from my business and what I would need to feel truly successful:

1. Who are your idols and why?

When I think of entrepreneur success stories, I think of my daughter Taylor Swift. Not only because I'm a fan of her music, but also because she created an incredible culture around her brand by completely redefining her industry and never compromising her values.

I look at her decisions and feel inspired to carve my own path as well. I look up to her not because of her popularity but because of her integrity and wise decision making. I also think of my mother and grandmother, who were two undeniably strong women who helped pave the way for me to be here, and I'm writing this article today.

Sometimes, the going gets tough and I feel really bad. In those moments, I think about the people I see. I try to see myself through their lens and wonder how they would see me in that moment. It's a powerful framework that helps you get back to what matters. Lastly, and this may sound strange, I think about the younger version of myself. The 10-year-old version of myself, the 18-year-old me. I ask her what she would think if she could see me now. I know the answer: she would be proud.

2. What are your core values?

The concept of values ​​in business it is such a double-edged sword. Every brand has them – but how many live in them? Are they just words on a piece of paper? The same goes for you as an individual – and I would argue that the values ​​you have as a person should be 100% aligned with your values ​​as an entrepreneur.

In times of doubt, my value system acts as my north star. Say I lose a big client. Of course, it is drowned. But if I ask myself, 'Was I authentically myself?' and 'Was I creative and offered out-of-the-box solutions?' and 'Did I do my best?'

If the answer is yes, I can walk away with my head held high. I can go back to the mindset of 'this or something better' and know that one thing is going away to make room for something bigger. Most importantly, I can separate myself as a person from the business I've created, knowing it's not personal.

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3. What legacy do you want to leave?

One of my favorite poems is “What is Success” by Ralph Waldo Emerson. In it, he describes many ways to be successful – like earning respect, earning love and laughing often. Some of the things he describes aren't even on the radar of our current 'goal-winning' mentality, which we tend to measure by extra zeros in the bank account and more ratings on our LinkedIn.

He ends the poem with some truly profound lines: “To leave the world a little better, whether from a healthy child, a patch of garden, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; This is to have succeeded.”

I often think about this in terms of the legacy I want to leave in this world. For me, it's about more than making more money or getting all the prizes. I spent so long chasing it, and it was so empty. Everything changed for me when I started thinking about influence.

How can I use my gifts to make this industry, my community, and the world a better place? If not this – what is it all about? When I measure success with legacy and INFLUENCEI am working for more than myself. It matters—and I can work with clients to make their work more important, too. It made me dig deeper and rekindle the fire within that flowed from the fumes from the burn.

I feel like talking to any entrepreneur about their business and why they started it. I love hearing their dreams and wishes. I also cringe when I hear, “I want to be the Apple of (Insert industry here). It's great to aim high and have idols, but it's also great to define success on your own terms. Why Apple? Is it because they ” Are you such a brand giant or is it because you appreciate their innovation.