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As a performance-oriented psychologist, I often meet clients who seek advice on the best mentality for success. I applaud them for recognizing the importance of psychology and attitude and for trying to gain insight into these elusive concepts. The problem is that many hope with high achievements assume there is a single “best” way of doing things, as if choosing a mindset is like choosing a software system: make the right choice and then rely on that approach every day without further thought or consideration.
There are plenty self help books announcing a recipe for success that has worked for others. Except that what works for someone else may not work for you, and what worked for you yesterday may not work today or tomorrow.
So what do I tell clients who ask, for example, if it's better to work on them weaknesses or rely on their own strength? What if you should spend more time focusing on achieving success versus avoiding failure? Or is it better to make important decisions independently or collaboratively? In all cases, my answer is yes, yes and yes.
Instead of holding out hope for a definitive answer to these and other questions, the wise person recognizes that the only mindset that is guaranteed to work consistently is an unfixed mindset. The individual with a non-fixed mindset sticks to one approach in a given situation and then switches to the other side of the coin when the context calls for it. Instead of seeking a single, consistent way of operating, they are willing to contradict themselves from day to day. They understand that developing a personal psychological approach is not a “one and done” task, but an ongoing effort. They embody the sentiment written by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay on self-reliance: “Speak what you think today in hard words, and tomorrow say what you think again in hard words tomorrow, though it contradicts everything you said today”.
Related: 5 Entrepreneurial Mindsets That Drive Success
Choosing both sides of the coin
Let's take a closer look at the initial question: should you work to improve your weaknesses or emphasize your strengths? There are strong reasons to do both. The principles of deliberate practice, extensively studied by Anders Ericsson and colleagues, make it clear that to become an expert at anything, you must focus on getting better. This requires you to recognize your shortcomings, work to improve them, and devote thousands of hours to the process. So, if you are good at starting conversations but lack written communication, you need to improve your writing. In contrast, StrengthsFinder The approach, developed by Tom Rath, advocates playing to your strengths rather than focusing on your weaknesses, and there is good reason for this approach as well.
Which mentality is it the best? Well, both, depending on the situation. If you have failed at something – perhaps losing a contract or being denied a job opportunity, you would do well to reflect on the shortcomings that led to that outcome. If, however, you are about to give a speech or interview for a position, then it is more prudent to rely on your strengths. These different contexts would be analogous to practice time versus game time for an athlete. When elite athletes are practicing, they usually work to fill holes in their game. However, when the competition rolls around, they aren't focusing on all the gaps in their skill set. This would threaten their confidence and lead to self-doubt. Instead, they aim for a strong belief that they have what it takes to defeat the opponents in front of them. Then, when the contest is over, they'll review the game film, focusing again on what they need to improve on, and the cycle continues.
Asking whether it is better to adopt one mindset or another ignores the fact that circumstances change. So instead of asking which way of thinking is best, ask which approach would be preferred in a given situation. Context matters.
Working towards balance
The wisdom of maintaining a non-fixed mindset is the main premise of the upcoming book, “Extreme Balance: Paradoxical Principles That Make You a Champion.” This volume, which I co-authored with Ben Askren and Joe De Sena, describes how champion athletes use a flexible mindset to achieve greatness, and the lessons contained within are easily applicable to entrepreneurs and anyone pursuing success. Ben is a champion wrestler, mixed martial artist and highly successful trainer, and Joe is the founder and CEO of Spartan, a leading global endurance sports brand.
Extreme Balance provides insight into the mental struggles athletes face and guidance on how to use them to your advantage. We cover a number of false dichotomies and show how and when to switch from one approach to another. Chapter titles include “Thinking You're Good Enough and Thinking You're Never Good Enough,” “Preparing for Everything and Expecting the Unexpected,” and “Being an Individual and a Team Player.” If you want to achieve the one mindset that will, paradoxically, help you succeed in any situation, this book can get you there.
Finding psychological balance is not simply a matter of choosing a place between two extremes and staying there. It is a continuous process of adapting your approach to the demands of the situation. It's not easy, but if it was, then everyone would be doing it.