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Gen Z is being described as the most anxious generation, with 1 in 2 struggling with everyday anxiety. This alarming trend stems from a host of factors, chief among them what some call “pressure cooker school” that puts considerable academic pressure on students. From the relentless pursuit of top grades to the competition for impressive extracurriculars and coveted places at prestigious universities, our youth have an almost palpable sense of restlessness. According to the London School of Economics, this pressure is harmful to their well-being and is exacerbated by increased parental pressure.
As parents, it is our job to recognize and address the toll this takes on us children's mental well-being before they reach adulthood. While we may dream of seeing our children excel academically and socially, it is equally important to equip them with the resilience and optimism needed to navigate life's challenges they will inevitably face in college and beyond.
As Director of Admissions Consultancy at Fourth education, I have experienced this college anxiety myself, so our mission extends beyond academic achievement. We prioritize the holistic well-being of our students, guiding them toward a healthy perspective on success and failure. With that in mind, here are three essential skills we believe are essential for today's youth to thrive in college.
1. Embrace failure and rejection
Anxiety often stems from the fear of failure, a major obstacle in the pursuit of personal growth. To thrive, our children must embrace rejection as a valuable part of their journey. Contrary to popular belief, failure is not a dead end, but a stepping stone to resilience and achievement. It is vital that we convince our teenagers that failure is not only normal, but essential to building strength and character.
I recently had a conversation with Erick Mueller, Executive Director of the Deming Center for Entrepreneurship at the Leeds School of Business, University of Colorado, Boulder. He emphasized the importance of hands-on learning and proactive problem-solving in increasing resilience and independence among today's teenagers. Mueller seeks a shift from fear of failure and toward one entrepreneurial mindset of innovation and persistence. His advice is remarkably simple: encourage children to break free from the passive control of technology and immerse themselves in action. In an age where screens often hold more allure than real-world experiences, it's all too easy for our young people to remain spectators rather than active participants. Directing students to the right activities that stretch their limits, support their passion projects and encourage them to take risks, we can empower them to see failure as a valuable teacher rather than a hindrance. What we need are courageous young people who press forward in the face of adversity, refusing to let obstacles define them.
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2. Separating academic achievement from self-esteem
When talking about the impact of failure, it is essential to also address how students perceive their self-esteem in relation to their academic performance. There is a prevailing misconception that a student's worth depends only on their grades or the prestige of the colleges they do or do not attend. This notion suggests that only those who secure places at Ivy League institutions are intelligent, capable of success, and deserving of recognition. However, this belief could not be further from the truth.
In recent years, we have witnessed a marked decline in college acceptance rates, with Ivy League schools accepting only 3% of their applicants. This does not mean that there is a lack of qualified candidates; there is simply a lack of seats.
While it is important to encourage academic excellence for intellectual growth and future opportunities, it is equally important to remember children that their worth extends far beyond their academic achievements or the name of the college they attend. No single institution or achievement defines their identity. True success lies in embracing their individual talents, passions and contributions to the world. It is these unique qualities that shape their identity and pave the way to fulfillment and influence.
3. Disconnection from social networks
Disconnecting from social networks poses a significant challenge, especially for today's youth, who are deeply consumed by it. This reliance on social media is undeniably contributing to the collective anxiety experienced by General Z. In our current reality, where fake news and carefully curated posts blur the lines between fact and fiction, teens often find themselves trapped in a cycle of comparison, where their self-worth is measured by likes, followers, and virtual validation.
This paradoxical relationship with social media has created an unsettling feeling detachment from others and reality. As the endless stream of people online consumes them, they are simultaneously cut off from real connections and meaningful experiences in the real world. We need to empower them to break free from this curated online existence and rediscover the value of authentic offline connections and experiences.
Fostering a sense of self-worth that isn't tied to online metrics can help them build resilience and confidence rooted in their inner worth. To help them do this, we need to encourage them to seek balance in their relationship with social media, valuing its benefits while also prioritizing real interactions and experiences beyond the screen. By guiding them toward a healthier approach to social media, we can help them regain control over their well-being and find fulfillment in the wealth of real-life connections that have so much more to offer.
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Final thoughts
As our youth face growing anxiety, it's time to face the harsh realities of academic pressure and social media saturation. Let's equip our youth with resilience, remind them of their inherent worth, and guide them toward meaningful connections that transcend the digital realm. It's a call to action for a generation that needs real human connection and inner tenacity, and we parents must strive to lead this transformation.