“Are you stupid?”

The words are harsh, even to be seen. I could never imagine saying them to a member of my team.

However, when I started writing this article and asked everyone in my company to talk about it workplace trauma, these were among their experiences: CEOs calling people stupid in a meeting; managers who blow up over small mistakes or lie about a promotion; feeling stressed and yelling everyday. Fifteen percent of my employees were willing to share their stories. Some were hard to believe.

Most surprising was how widespread trauma is in the workplace. Not a big “T” trauma that comes from dangerous or criminal behavior, but rather a “small” trauma that still causes serious harm, but results from poor leadership. Toxic work environments leave people feeling unworthy, incompetent and unhappy, diminishing their potential contribution to a company. As it takes individual responsibility to work through trauma from job to job, leaders and managers can and should want to help empower them to heal.

Connected: How managers can dismantle trauma in the workplace

Horror stories

Trust is easy to lose and harder to gain, but a story with toxic leaders it can make it worse. In every traumatic workplace, my employees reported hearing the same messages: “We're transparent,” “one family,” and “We trust you to do your job.” Then the inconsistencies began. One described a former manager who spread negative rumors and was hypercritical of even the smallest mistakes, leaving her with PTSD. One called his particularly dismissive former manager a “non-violent psychopath.”

Even after leaving a toxic company, employees risk carrying that trauma into their next workplace. They may read articles on discovering a healthy culture, even join a new, hopeful team, but any sign of toxic behavior and they quickly lose that optimism. Many stay, feeling trapped without options or economic stability, but the more time spent in these toxic work environments, the deeper they instill fear and insecurity. Without healing, people carry that trauma with them, reducing the potential value they can contribute or want to contribute to any future company.

Influence of leaders

Leadership behavior sets the tone for the entire organization. In my 30-year career, I have never yelled because yelling would be contrary to my stated beliefs that mistakes are opportunities for growth and continuous improvement. When words and actions are inconsistent, an employee who has experienced trauma will be quicker to lose faith in that company's leadership.

While the vision and actions of senior leadership lay the foundation for a supportive workplace culture, day-to-day experiences with direct management and peers have the greatest impact. As CEO, I can equip managers with the tools they need to build trusting relationships and empower them to support recovery, so we hired someone to package the knowledge and skills of our high-performing managers in a training program. By training them in effective communication, recognizing trauma and fostering a emotionally safe environmentleaders can help managers mitigate the effects of past traumas on the rest of the workplace.

Connected: Why trauma integration will give you a competitive advantage in leadership

Rebuild with sustainability

To rebuild trust after a traumatic experience, consistency is key. Leaders and managers must do more than talk about emotional intelligence and living company values—they must visibly and consistently demonstrate actions that match those words over time. One team member noted how surprised he was that the CEO would email him to recognize his efforts just days after joining the team, but even more so that any ongoing experience with leadership since time is consistent with that behavior.

Start working to rebuild trust from day one. One person commented on the authenticity and transparency he felt in his first interview with the CEO and how, after nearly four years with us, this has continued. Most of my employees recalled smaller, everyday events that made the biggest difference—emails of support, free movie tickets, and flexibility to handle last-minute emergencies. They also cited opportunities for team bonding over non-work topics, such as our Vegas trip and book club, as helpful in releasing trauma while allaying concerns that coworkers might cause similar problems.

Plan, evaluate and improve

There is no magic way to heal people from their existing trauma, but regular checks are the best way to help. It can be uncomfortable to talk about toxic experiences, but managers can more easily elicit, identify, and help resolve individual workplace challenges. Create a standardized process to ensure consistent experiences and use technology platforms to facilitate clear planning and communication.

HR can be valuable in supporting these controls: obtaining employee feedback, assisting managers, or participating. When we hired an HR manager, she took over regular one-on-one meetings and her open-ended questions were extremely successful in uncovering past traumas in the workplace. Her ability to make people feel comfortable garnered valuable feedback, which has built stronger relationships and done a lot of good for the company.

When registrations are successful, recognize and reward the effort behind that success. One employee described the profound impact a simple “thank you” had on his leadership confidence and organizational commitment. By leading by example and sharing stories of successful controls, leaders encourage an environment of supportive manager-employee interactions.

Connected: Career trauma is a real thing. Here's how to recognize and recover from it.

Our positive results

At a social event in February, we invited everyone to send their colleagues Valentines, expressing how special it was to work together. The next day we received the messages that others sent us and a second wave of positive feelings. Afterwards, people took to social media and weighed in on the impact: “Amazing to wake up and read all the love from our Influence Mobile family. Thank you for encouraging such a fun and positive workplace environment.” That single spark of positivity became contagious.

No one can heal someone else's trauma, but leaders can do a lot to facilitate their own healing journey. By fostering a culture of resilience and support among employees, managers and colleagues, we can build a work environment where people can overcome past traumas in the workplace.