How adopting my son made me a better leader


How many moments in the last few years have made you stop and question your privilege? Like many others, I will admit that those moments have continued to grow as I gain more perspective and advance in my career.

As a mother of five and president of a large and growing wealth management practice, I keep a keen eye on the personal and professional development of my people. By asking them questions and finding ways to lend a helping hand, I have witnessed tremendous growth over the past few years as they have approached adulthood or navigated their careers. But there is one particular detail about my life that has provided incredible insight: the fact that my oldest son is a black man whom my husband and I met and adopted while he was aging out of the foster care system. guardianship. While I did not have a privileged upbringing by any means, I know that as a white female, I have had many advantages simply because of the color of my skin.

Over the past few years, our son has been an official member of our family and I have noticed a change in my leadership style. My son has opened my eyes to many things that have made me a better leader. While not every financial planning professional will consider foster care or adoption, there are certainly lessons they can apply from my experience to help close the wealth gap in their professional capacity.

Considering new opportunities

A few decades ago, my firm was hosting a holiday gathering for our employees and their families. Unbeknownst to me, it was my eldest son's first time in an office environment. He was incredulous about the space and his wonder sparked a wider conversation about the work we did in the office and the power of money management. Growing up, his work exposure had been at dollar stores or fast food restaurants. None of his knowledge to date of what it means to be a working person had ever included the importance of building credit or a host of other fundamentals that my children had grown up knowing.

I found myself going down a rabbit hole of absolute privilege that my husband and I had afforded our other four children their entire lives. For example, when my oldest daughter, who is a similar age, needed a teacher, she got one. SAT prep? No problem. She learned a lot about the rigorous college admissions process through the athletic competitions we sent her to over the years. She, along with my other children, was given a solid foundation to set them up for success in the real world from birth. My older son did not have the same experience.

When his car wouldn't start a few months later, the cost to repair his battery would have caused him to miss his commute to work, potentially threatening his livelihood. Things my family took for granted, like paying off a simple car repair, can be devastating to someone living paycheck to paycheck or in debt. Sure, we took care of him, but what would he have done if we hadn't? The snowball effect was suddenly on our doorstep.

Making a difference

My son's moment in Meri's offices early in our relationship has had an impact on me. As the financial planning industry looks to hire next-generation and diverse talent, we must take a holistic approach to finding those candidates.

I think about the questions we don't ask during the interview process, like whether the candidate needs any transportation or housing assistance if they have to relocate. I wonder why they might have worked at the school; was it because they had to, or wanted to? How has this experience affected them?

Today, my oldest son manages one of the busiest pizza shops in Atlanta, adding 50-70 hours a week on top of schooling. Although he now has financial and emotional support from our family, he has not wavered in his commitment to excellence, to push himself further. This has opened my eyes and others at Merit to what we need to do to attract diverse candidates and build the workforce we require.

Commitment to intentionality and leading with empathy

During our journey, many healing moments continue to strengthen our family relationship and his professional advancement. I would argue that they also provide a solid reminder to employers that many young professionals (and older ones too, for that matter) continue to carry residual trauma with them into the office.

It has become clear to me that this is an invisible issue woven into the fabric of our modern workplace. While we cannot erase the trauma of the past, we can deal with it. To that point, employers must approach employees through a lens of empathy and understanding. Get to know the people in your office and ask them about their stories. Meet them where they are.

If we are not intentional about learning about the people we are seeking to bring into our organizations, we will not find common ground. Adopting my son has changed me for the better as a mother, but even more so as a leader. This experience has far exceeded any leadership courses I've taken, books I've read, or conference sessions I've attended.

The good news is that wealth management professionals have many opportunities to make a difference. Creating a chance for someone considering non-traditional hiring starts with examining your current hiring practices. How are candidates recommended to your firm and where are you actively seeking them? During the interview process, are you finding unique ways to connect with their personal story and understand how their background has shaped them as a person and a professional? Have you fully considered the additional resources they may need to come on board, such as shipping or relocation costs?

Is there a pipeline program for young talent that your firm is willing to invest in? If so, consider paid internships to help students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds work and learn alongside your firm. At this time, we can no longer promote unpaid internships.

At Merit, we're looking at the breadth of our civic engagement – like our work with Together with Families, a non-profit organization that designs and implements family care diversion programs – and by expanding academic partnerships we seek to enhance our talent pipeline. This means including trade schools or community colleges alongside traditional four-year universities. More work remains here and we are working every day to improve our efforts.

I have always said that my oldest son has given me so much more than we have ever given him. I am proud to share that he is now a business major. An internship or office visit can really change someone's life.

Kay Lynn Mayhue is President of Merit Financial



Source link