Fear is the biggest obstacle to healing personal success. Very challenging emotions tend to scare us when we go through a trauma like divorce, especially those related to being alone and finances. All the negativity and stress can lead to fear, which can actually prevent healing.

To overcome fear, so healing is possible, realizing the need for it Deal it is imperative. It is common for people passing by trauma to make plans for what they're going to do to start over, but so many go off the rails and don't actually take the steps to make the plans a reality.

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Here are some simple ways to take action to begin the healing work.

1. Relax

Relaxation sounds so simple – and it is – but it is often overlooked in the midst of it the chaos of life. It's important to remember that relaxation doesn't have to last long and will make you feel good – and when we feel good, we want more of it.

Healing is not possible when we are in one victim condition or scared. We need to feel all the feelings and then learn to let go of the ones that don't serve us so we can focus on the positive ones and the joy we can create in the new life we ​​imagine.

Incorporate relaxation into your day every day – even if it's just for 10 minutes. Take a bath, take a nice walk, meditate or read a book. Know what feels good and what calms you because being in that state during stressful times will help you focus on getting to a place where you feel that way more often… until you heal and feel that way most of the time.

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2. Develop

To “evolve” means to become the highest and best version of yourself. We must consciously evolve to heal, so we don't stay where we are. It involves doing things differently and looking within for answers. In the case of a divorce, you need to determine who you are outside of your previous marriage and who you want to become in your new life.

To understand this involves diving into some deep questions about yourself to understand what you need to work on to live the life you want. Most people need guidance to handle some of the emotional states such as low self-esteem and false beliefs about oneself. Other limiting beliefs include shame, lack of confidence, or the belief that we “can't evolve” from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

3. They fail

Failure is necessary to grow. If we got what we wanted all the time, we wouldn't feel grateful—and gratitude is necessary not only for healing, but as part of a happy life. Try new things, know that you can fail, and enjoy learning learned from that failure. It allows you to fine tune who you want to be and what you want to create.

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4. Redirection

We are all made of energy; when that energy goes away from the positive, we can hit a wall in our healing journey. This is normal and will happen often, so learn how to redirect that energy into deployment yourself on the right track.

Depending on where the feeling occurs, there are things you can do to redirect it. For example, say you're feeling bored and sit on the couch watching Netflix. In the process, you consume half a container of ice cream and your stomach doesn't feel right. A redirect might be turning off the TV, turning on some dance music, and getting lost in motion. You'll likely feel completely different after just a short time of dancing (but keep going if you feel good!). Your action is the opposite of what you were doing, allowing you to release negative energy.

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5. Have fun

Healing doesn't have to be so serious all the time. When we go through trauma like divorce, it's not unusual to lose touch with our inner child, as the process is usually stressful and sad. Like redirecting energy through dance, as in the example above, fun helps us connect with that inner child, which can turn perspective.

Make plans to have fun – don't just think you will. Go ice skating with a friend, shoot some hoops, play rollerblades or whatever sounds fun. Try new things, too, and make sure you enjoy it. New experiences feed a child's wonder and curiosity, so channel that perspective as you make plans.

6. Get help

It's okay to ask for help; if you have the right support network of people who love you and don't judge you, it can be a lifeline. Sometimes, we need professional help—like therapy, coaching, or energy work. You can learn about different ways to get help and see what works best for you. It will make healing much easier.